


nebulae

by zaochens



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Character Death, Reincarnation, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-18 03:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaochens/pseuds/zaochens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jiyong is a gardener, and the nightsky his soil, the stars his fruits. seungri is human, his soul ancient, from the start of time.</p><p>jiyong likes games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue // nebulae

**Author's Note:**

> this work is unfinished, and discontinued.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jiyong has always been fond of sweet things;  
> but he never tasted anything as sweet as him.

he hums a tune under his breath, fingers reaching out to nudge at a bright ball of light and heat.  
  
he takes a step closer, and plucks it out from its dark surroundings. it purrs under his fingers, crooning tenderly in his grasp.  
  
it is only proper that it remembers its creator,  
  
and its destroyer.  
  
he pops it into his mouth, and crunches it between his molars, grinding it into nothing but stardust. a spark echos in his head, and the light is extinguished just so.  
  
_just like a poprock_ , he muses, and turns his eyes to the city beneath him. the city lights blink back at him, and the stench of modern air filled his lungs.  
  
his heart stirs all of a sudden.  
  
his lips curl automatically into a soft, almost fond smile.  
  
**he** was back, reborn yet again, for the umpteenth time.  
  
they could finally play their game.  
  
he closes his eyes.  
  
"finally," a hoarse breath, the word almost foreign to his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> following bigbang for 6 years is a long arduous process. i love you, kwon jiyong. please be happy for the rest of your life.


	2. chapter 1 // cumulonimbus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anticipation bubbles up his throat, and out of his mouth, and yet he still has to wait.

jiyong descends from the sky, feet slow and steady, as if there was a flight of stairs, leading from the skies of stars where he resides, down to the lands of beings.  
  
this time, he has chosen the appearance of a young man, a favoured form of his, a form, that  **the other**  will surely remember.  
  
though  **he**  will not remember now, of course not,  **he**  was just born, after all.  
  
his heart throbs, and he follows the beat, and follows it to what belongs to him.  
  
jiyong is not going to see **him** , however.  
  
jiyong knows that if he meets  **him**  too early, too fast, he will break  **him** , and destroy  **him**  with his bare hands.  
  
no,  _no,_   **he**  will be too vulnerable at the moment,  **he**  is too weak.  
  
so instead, he shall plant seeds, stars, to show  **him**  the way.  
  
to lead him to where  **he**  belongs.  
  
and  **he**  belongs to jiyong, under jiyong, his hands crushing  **the other** 's neck, pale fingers wrapped around  **his** throat, just like that last time.  
  
jiyong was never careful with his toys, but he never cared in the first place.  
  
why should he fret in the first place?  
  
after all,  **he**  will come back alive, again and again, and jiyong,  
  
jiyong has all the time the universe has to offer.  
  
glee dances across his lips and bubbles into peals of giggles.  
  
their game is about to start, soon.  
  
jiyong can hardly wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 我要睡觉，但是我睡不着。


	3. chapter 2 // supernova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a travel back in time;  
> death by strangulation;  
> he has to wait yet again.  
> 

jiyong grabs him by his face, he pulls him close, closer.  
  
jiyong hisses, and presses closer.  
  
"...jiyong, come on," seungri whispers, hands resting by his side, his fingers trembling to push him off.  
  
but he doesn't.  
  
"no, ri, no, the game doesn't end until i say so," jiyong whispers, his voice harsh and hard, and he pushes seungri away, slamming the other's head against the concrete wall.  
  
"you don't get to decide anything, you know that, don't you," jiyong continues, his voice high and full of snark, and jiyong stamps a foot down onto seungri's chest, and  _fuck_ -  
  
an audible  **crack** , and seungri cries out, eyes squeezing in pain.  
  
" _f_ _uck_ , jiyong, stop, stop it, jiyong, please-"  
  
"you don't get a say, shut the  **fuck**  up, ri,"  
  
he lifts his foot off the younger man, before falling to his knees, his fingers scrabbling to wrap around the other's neck.  
  
he squeezes, and watches while the other wheeze, and squirm under his fingers, and for a moment,  _god_ , **fuck** ,  _ **was he sick**_ , he could feel the slightest hint of arousal.  
  
"any last words, ri?"  
  
"ji, jiyong, please, it's ove- ahk-!"  
  
" _shutup **shutup**_ **SHUT** -"  
  
he squeezes and squeezes and squeezes until he stopped moving, stopping struggling, stopped breathing.  
  
jiyong sits back, still straddling his hips.  
  
jiyong laughs, and laughs and cries.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is crossposted on wrathfool@livejournal. i think i posted a snippet as well on tumblr. shrug. oh well.


	4. chapter 3 // betelgeuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seungri waits for the chandelier to drop on his face,  
> and wouldn't that be just simply _fantastic_ ,  
> would it?

seungri sees a man at the corners of his sight, a little too often.  
  
he sees him when he's in the bathroom, he sees him when he's in the kitchen, he sees him when he's crossing the road, he sees him before he goes to bed, he sees him  _everywhere_.  
  
he does not speak, he does not approach seungri, but his presence, somewhat familiar, somewhat comforting, yet unearthly, follows him everywhere.  
  
seungri had seen him since he was a child, a young boy, and the man too, was a boy.  
  
his s _hadow_ , he had termed the man, the boy, almost fondly, almost hesitantly.  
  
he had once tried to tell his mother about it, but his mother had brushed it off as an imagination, because  _kids always do these things for attention_.  
  
seungri isn't a child anymore, but he is still there.  
  
the man, the boy, had bright scarlet hair, and alabaster skin, and if he squints, if he manages to capture more than a second of a glance, he sees that it glows.  
  
galaxies bubble under his translucent skin, and seungri remembers, a fond memory, that he does not recall living, of  _that_  skin, in fingers wrapped around his neck.  
  
_that_  skin pressed tightly against his, and soft, wrecking sobs.  
  
he remembers things that he should not, but he keeps them in mind, because he knows, he knows somehow, they are important.  
  
he remembers him, he remembers himself, of a whisper of a game, of his smile, and when he sees him, his face is shrouded by shadows.  
  
seungri does not remember how his eyes looked like, but seungri knows, that all will be revealed.  
  
seungri knows that the memories would come pouring in.  
  
the memories that will eat him up, that will consume him, his every being, of what made him different from the man in his memories.  
  
the man that he remembers, the man that his shadow calls " _seungri_ " too.  
  
he will become that man, and he will cease being himself, but at the same time, he would be whole.  
  
seungri waits for him to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not write this in one day.


	5. blackhole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is no escape.

everyone dies around him, he realises.

at the very least, severely injured.

seungri picks up his phone, and reads the text message.

_ri, this is mum. ▇▇▇, she died in a car accident, her parents are inviting you to her funeral. are you coming home soon?_

he remembers, high school, prom night, his date.

he remembers her, pastel blue dress, rosy cheeks, and a bright smile that stretches across her lips.

he remembers, the porch, the rattan loveseat, kissing her.

he does not reply.

this is not the first time.

10 years old, bullied, classmate.

25 hours, broken legs, crippled for life.

seungri offered his condolences, and was met with fearful eyes.

his bully had never talked to him after that.

13 years old, first kiss, crush.

17 hours, crush, crushed by support beams.

seungri went to her funeral, and watched her family cry.

seungri left immediately when it ended.

and each time, each aftermath, he smiles.

his shadow will smile, unnervingly.

he will smile at seungri, and seungri can't help but smile back.

seungri wants him to leave; _**(he knows he won't;)**_  
seungri wants to be normal for once. _**(he knows he can't.)**_

seungri does not look forward to what might comes.  
_**(seungri does not look forward to what will come.)**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to stop killing people in my stories.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading until the end.


End file.
